L.T. Is Alive!

So that's what a 100-yard rushing game looks like.
We had forgotten, as it had been so long since LaDainian Tomlinson ran for 100 yards in a game.
But L.T. arose from the near-dead and rushed for 183 yards and two touchdowns -- plus 57 yards receiving and a TD reception -- in the Chargers' 38-24 win over the Rams on Sunday.
It was L.T.'s first 100-yard rushing game since Week 1 -- coincidentally against the other former Los Angeles team, the Raiders.
Chargers fans might want to enjoy this one while it lasts because the Bolts have only one more game left on the schedule against one of the former L.A. teams.
After five consecutive games without a 100-yard rushing performance, we were starting to wonder about L.T. We were considering giving him the Abe Vigoda treatment, maybe start a Web site that answers whether L.T. is dead or alive. But after Sunday's effort, we'll hold off on that for now.
And for those of you who took our advice and cashed in after the Chargers' big win, you're welcome. Remember us at Christmas time. And just as we expected, Shawne Merriman* had a big game, tying a career high with three sacks. Merriman* is expected to play again next weekend against Cleveland, then comes the appeal hearing for his four-game steroid suspension. It will be real interesting to see how the rest of the Chargers defense reacts to life without Merriman* for four games.
So after a convincing Chargers victory, all is once again right with the world ... The Chargers are again One Of The Elite Teams in The League (at least until their next loss), L.T. is the best running back of all time, Paris Hilton is finally getting some national exposure and Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark are reuniting on "New Year's Rockin' Eve."
You couldn't really ask for anything more.

Cal Poly 16, San Diego State 14

Good game, Aztecs.
Who you gonna lose to next year, Grossmont College?

Take This Job and Shove It

Allowing your longtime manager to bolt to one of your division rivals ain't exactly a normal way of doing business. But San Diego has never been a normal town.
After 12 seasons as Padres manager and 24 years overall in the organization, Bruce Bochy was introduced Friday as manager of the San Francisco Giants.
What's clear is this: Bochy went looking for another job only because Padres CEO Sandy Alderson made it clear to Bochy he wasn't wanted here.
We've never thought Bochy was a particularly great manager, but he's certainly a good manager and we respect the success he's had.
And in this case, it's impossible to root for an Ivy League corporate suit like Alderson. We're glad to see Bochy call the team's bluff and stick it to the man.
Alderson and general manager Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," likely won't admit it, but they're probably surprised Bochy went through with it. They were probably expecting Bochy to follow the same path KT went down last year, when KT was given permission to apply for the Arizona GM job but ultimately decided to stay in San Diego.
Baseball fans in other cities across the country must really be scratching their heads over this. Let's see, the manager who just won back-to-back National League West titles for the first time in franchise history is allowed to just walk away -- to a division rival?
Nice job, Sandy. Really handled things smoothly on this one.
And if the Giants win the NL West next season, we can't wait to hear Alderson's corporate-speak reaction. Anytime the guy speaks, he's about as interesting as a Mark Bellhorn at-bat.

The Minor-League Town Poll

If San Diego State loses to Cal Poly ...
	Coach Chuck Long should be fired on the spot.
	Every player should lose their scholarship.
	Players not on scholarship should be expelled from school.
	SDSU is playing Cal Poly in football? What year is this, 1968?
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Our 5-Star Special

We don't offer gambling advice often, so when we do, you know we've thought long and hard about it.
The Chargers will win Sunday. And win big.
If this were one of those early morning radio infomercials, we'd be touting this as our "5-star special." And we'd be repeating that same line about 50 times over the next hour.
We don't care what the spread is. Nine points? Fine. If your shady neighborhood bookie says 19 points, whatever, the Chargers will win and they'll cover.
The Rams are an OK team, but they've never been a good road club.
But here's the real reason why this is such a sure bet: Shawne Merriman*
The Chargers' Pro Bowl* linebacker will be allowed to play the next two games while he awaits the appeal hearing on his four-game suspension for testing positive for steroids.
And we're fully expecting Merriman* to have a huge game. We expect Merriman* to play like a man possessed, much like Charles Jefferson did for Ridgemont High after Khalil Greene wrecked his car. Come to think of it, Charles Jefferson's performance in Ridgemont High's big game against Lincoln might have been one of the very first cases of 'roid rage.
Merriman* knows these next two weeks might be his last games for a while, so he's going to take out all his aggression and frustrations on the Rams this week and next week, the Cleveland Browns.
And then there's the Martyball factor. Considering the team's recent history, the Chargers are in no mood to play another close game. They know they have no chance to win a close game, as long as their coach is named Schottenheimer, so look for the Bolts to make it a blowout.
After the Rams and Browns, the schedule gets considerably tougher with games against Cincinnati, Denver (twice), Kansas City and Seattle, so the Bolts know they must win these next two.
As confident as we are about this week's sure win, that goes double for next week against the Browns, who are simply awful.
Go ahead, bet the house. The kids' college fund? Sure, why not?
What do we care? It's not our money.

Shawne Merriman*

The big story today -- other than Madonna appearing on "Oprah" -- is that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman will be suspended four games by the NFL for allegedly testing positive for steroids.
What this means for Merriman is that everything he has done and everything he will do in the future will be viewed with suspicion. Should that Defensive Rookie of the Year Award he received last season come with an asterisk? Should we now call him Pro Bowl linebacker* Shawne Merriman?
We'll let the geniuses who do talk radio handle that debate.
But what has us baffled is Merriman's production while allegedly on the juice.
If you're taking steroids, how do you manage not one tackle against Tennessee and only two tackles against Baltimore and Pittsburgh?
Clearly, the dude wasn't getting his money's worth on that batch of steroids. Where was the guy buying his steroids, Wal-Mart?
Just like anything else in life, you get what you pay for. Next time, pay for only the best steroids money can buy.

What's That Smell?

The past couple weeks, the Chargers were strutting around like they actually believed their shit don't stink. Well, on Sunday, the Chiefs broke the news to the Chargers that their shit does in fact stink.
And oh, does it stink. As in, somebody please get some air freshener stink.
During the week, the big story was an alleged "dirty bomb" threat involving NFL stadiums. The threat turned out to be a hoax, so there was no need for security personnel to be alarmed about that foul odor emanating from Arrowhead Stadium on Sunday -- it was just the Chargers.
The Bolts' 30-27 loss to Kansas City might have been a shocker to some, but we saw this coming.
We're not patting ourselves on the back, but on Thursday we predicted here a three-interception game for Philip Rivers. It wasn't a three-interception game Sunday, but clearly we were on the right track as Rivers did have two turnovers (one fumble, one INT).
And for good measure, LaDainian Tomlinson added the team's third turnover with a fumble. It was another less-than-Hall-of-Fame-caliber-day for L.T., whom is considered by some experts to be the best running back of all time.
If Shannon Sharpe says it, it must be true. Maybe it's just us, but if one wants to be the best running back of all time, one might want to mix in a 100-yard rushing game every now and again. L.T. managed just 66 yards on 15 carries Sunday, his fifth consecutive game without a 100-yard rushing performance.
And we can't let the Chargers' sparkling defensive performance go unnoticed. Chiefs QB Damon Huard -- who would still be holding a clipboard if Trent Green hadn't been knocked senseless a few weeks ago -- managed to look like Tom Brady against the Chargers. Meanwhile, running back Larry Johnson and tight end Tony Gonzalez, who had both done pretty much nothing all season, came to life against the Chargers' brilliant defense.
We can't say we were surprised.
With each passing day last week and with each increasing mention by some TV talking head or some scribe that the Chargers are one of the league's "elite" teams, we could just sense that the Chargers were becoming more and more full of themselves.
And add the fact that the Chiefs were coming off a 45-7 loss to Pittsburgh, we could practically see the wheels turning in the Chargers' heads, as they try to do the math ... "OK, Kansas City lost to Pittsburgh by 38, and we beat Pittsburgh by 10, so ... "
But of course, things rarely work out that way.

All is Swell in Chargerland

Chargers fans are so giddy these days that they can't find anything to complain about.
So that's what we're here for.

• Antonio Gates is a great tight end but if his rear end gets any larger, we'll have to start calling him Oprah.
• We know kickers aren't really football players and they aren't supposed to look like football players, but Nate Kaeding really, really looks like a dweeb -- even for a kicker. We can't help but wonder how often Kaeding has to show I.D. to prove he really is a football player when he's entering the stadium. You know that guy who was in your freshman P.E. class, the guy people made fun of, yet felt sorry for at the same time? That guy looks cooler than Nate Kaeding.
  
• We know it's sacrilegious to say anything negative about LaDainian Tomlinson, but what the hell, somebody has to ... kind of lost amid the Chargers lovefest in recent weeks has been the fact that L.T. is averaging only 3.7 yards a carry and hasn't had a 100-yard rushing game since Week 1 against the Raiders. The good news is: only five more weeks until the next game against the Raiders, so L.T. will get at least two 100-yard rushing games this season.
• We know the Chargers defense is the greatest ever, but it's interesting to note that not one Charger is currently ranked in the top 30 in tackles in the AFC.
• Shawne Merriman must like the Bay Area, or maybe it's just the inferior opponents up there. In the Chargers' two games up north this season at Oakland and San Francisco, Merriman had six tackles in each game. But in the team's other three games against Tennessee, Baltimore and Pittsburgh, "Lights Out" was pretty much a non-factor with two or fewer tackles in each of those three games.
• Philip Rivers was named AFC Offensive Player of the Week for his performance in Sunday's win over the 49ers. Great. That can only mean one thing: We smell a three-interception game coming.

Anybody Want to Hire This Guy?

Padres CEO Sandy Alderson practically begged the Cubs to hire Bruce Bochy, but Chicago wasn't all that interested and instead hired Lou Piniella.
Bochy, who answers to the colorful nickname "Boch," was no better than the Cubs' third choice as former Marlins manager Joe Girardi was the runner-up for the job and Chicago didn't even bother to interview Boch.
Now Boch appears to be a candidate to replace Felipe Alou as Giants manager, but who knows how serious that is. At this time last week, some people on the radio already had Boch getting fitted for a Cubs uniform.
Alderson has given Bochy permission to talk to other teams who have managerial openings, but so far Bochy seems to be like the remarkably plain-looking girl who's sitting at home, waiting for the phone to ring but can't get a date.
It's not that other teams don't like Boch; they like him -- just not enough to hire him.
Can't imagine why.
Maybe that 951-975 career record (.494 winning percentage) has something to do with it. If you're a GM looking for a new manager, you need to hire somebody you can sell to your fan base. A manager whose career record is 24 games under .500 ain't gonna close the deal.
You might be wondering how a manager who's 24 games under .500 has lasted for 12 seasons in the same job. Good question. We can't think of another big-league city other than San Diego where this would be possible.
Alderson is a numbers man and no doubt has Bochy's career record memorized. And another number also is on Alderson's mind. Bochy's $1.9 million salary for next season, a figure that puts him in the top 10 among managers, surely was a factor in Alderson granting Bochy permission to speak to other teams.
Alderson probably would prefer not to pay that much for a manager because he's of the belief that managers don't win games, CEOs win games.
Bochy seems like an interesting figure in town. Some fans love him, while others wish he were gone yesterday. Love him or hate him, it appears other teams have only minimal interest in Boch as the Giants are the only team looking to interview him.
Bochy's career record won't thrill Giants fans, but the club just might overlook that and get blinded by one other factor. Bochy knows how to Beat L.A. (and we don't mean the Angels). Boch's teams regularly beat up on the Dodgers and that just might override everything else in the Bay Area.
But then, it wouldn't shock us if the Giants bypass Boch and hire someone cheaper with no managerial experience.
In which case, Padre fans can look forward to seeing a lot of this in box scores next season:

LOB--12.

Blitz Package

The Chargers had a bye this weekend, so we'll tackle some of the other football action:

• We were shocked to learn that the University of Miami was involved in a brawl during its game against Florida International. And it was a particularly nasty brawl, even by Miami standards. It might have been the ugliest thing we've seen in Miami since Joan Rivers walked into the offices of McNamara/Troy.
• The Miami brawl has been getting a lot of airtime since Saturday night, but if ESPN really wanted to impress us, they'd dig into the video vault and find footage of "The Rock" going into the stands during a Miami-San Diego State brawl several years ago. Perhaps Saturday night's brawl was just the players' way of auditioning for roles in an upcoming epic featuring "The Rock."
• It's always fun to try to get into the heads of TV suits who decide which NFL games get shown to a higher percentage of the country. For the early game Sunday, CBS gave us the Texans-Cowboys masterpiece. And we're pretty sure the reason for this wasn't David Carr. Was America demanding to see the Cowboys, who haven't been "America's Team" since Charlene Tilton was hot? Did we really need to see the Texans, who will be "America's Team" when the other 31 teams fold? No, the CBS suits decided the nation needed more T.O. -- because we didn't get enough Terrell Owens coverage all week. If T.O. would've had one of his sideline meltdowns, you can bet CBS was ready to show it from every angle possible. But T.O. went out and had three touchdowns, which means we can start getting used to more and more Cowboys telecasts now.
• Bengals fans might have to hold off on making Super Bowl reservations. Carson Palmer and the Bengals, everybody's trendy Super Bowl pick just a couple weeks ago, somehow lost to the Bucs, who entered the game 0-4. Cincy has now lost two in a row and suddenly doesn't look all that special at 3-2. Perhaps most alarming is that the Bengals' normally high-powered offense was held to one touchdown and 13 points for the second straight game.
• Cincinnati receiver Chris Henry began serving his two-game suspension for violating NFL policies on conduct and substance abuse. The NFL has policies on conduct?
• The Ravens knew the chances of Steve McNair staying healthy the whole season were slim. The 78-year-old quarterback left with a concussion and sprained neck in the first quarter against Carolina and Ravens fans everywhere cringed as Kyle Boller took over. Boller responded by throwing three touchdown passes, but like most games involving Boller, it was still a loss. At 4-2, Baltimore is the shakiest-looking first-place team in the league.
• We go back to David Carr for our quote of the day. After throwing two interceptions in the Texans' loss to the Cowboys, who were a .500 team entering the game, Carr said: "Against a team like this, you have to be perfect." Did Carr think Aikman, Emmitt and Irvin were suited up?

A-Pad?

Yankees general manager Brian Cashman made a point of saying this week that he expects Alex Rodriguez to be back with the Yankees next season. In GM-speak, that of course means, "He's available."
And with laid-back San Diego being as far removed as you can get from the pressure-cooker of New York City, some consider "America's Finest City" the perfect destination for A-Rod.
But Padres fans seem to think it'll be easy to make A-Rod become A-Pad. Listening to some of the trade suggestions on sports talk radio is always fun. Sorry, Padres fans, we don't think The Boss will sign off on a straight up trade of A-Rod for Paul McAnulty. It'll take a little more than that.
The going rate for No. 8 batters ain't what it used to be, you know.
There's so much to consider with a possible trade of this magnitude. Clubhouse chemistry is always a consideration and it seems A-Rod's Yankee teammates have never embraced him and have essentially called him a phony, whose moves are all "scripted." If the guy is choreographing his every move, maybe he can write some postseason base hits into his next script.
And don't underestimate the financial impact of an A-Rod trade. Yes, the Rangers are still paying some of his salary and the Yankees would pick up some more if a trade occurs, but it would still cost the Padres plenty.
So ... you think the cost of attending Padres games is high now ...
You know that $600,000 house you can barely afford to live in now? If A-Rod becomes A-Pad, you'll have to sell that house if you want to go to Padres games on a regular basis.

A Vacation Wonderland

San Diego State's football team is off this weekend, and we'll resist the temptation to say the Aztecs have taken the weekend off five times already this season.
It's really difficult to imagine how we're going to cope on a Saturday with no Aztec football.
San Diegans love their college football, so much so that they sometimes manage to fill half the seats at Aztec games.
Aztec Nation, with membership numbering in the dozens, will have to find something else to do this weekend.
And since the NFL schedule-makers were nice enough to give the Chargers a bye on the same weekend as the Aztecs, why not take a little weekend getaway?
Allow us to be your travel agent. We think we've got the perfect idea.
Why not jump in an RV, see some of the country and, oh, by the way, camp out in a different Wal-Mart parking lot every night?
When we think of a relaxing, stress-free environment, clearly the first thing that pops into our head is Wal-Mart.
Look at it this way, it can be your chance to live out a dream and be just like Robin Williams in the film "RV" -- if you were one of the 12 people who saw the movie.
And if you're an Aztec fan, you know a thing or two about punishing yourself, so maybe this kind of getaway is right up your alley.
For us, though, we'll have to pass on this one. But if Natalie Portman decides to live at Wal-Mart again, then we might consider it.

In a Van Down by the River

It looks like our favorite general manager will return next season to lead the Padres to another first-round playoff exit.
GM Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," and mananger Bruce Bochy are reportedly expected back, says team boss Sandy Alderson.
Because somebody has to win the worst division in baseball, San Diego made the playoffs in back to back seasons for the first time in club history, only to get eliminated by St. Louis both times.
But Padres fans everywhere can rest assured that the future is bright because KT will provide the farm system with can't-miss draft picks who blossom into home-grown superstars. You know, guys like Sean Burroughs, Kevin Nicholson, Jake Gautreau, Mark Phillips, Matt Halloran and of course, Matt Bush (pictured).
Bush, the former Mission Bay High star, was the No. 1 overall pick in the 2004 draft but still hasn't made it out of low Class A ball and is already considered a bust by many experts. But on the bright side, he hasn't been arrested recently. So the Chargers have no interest in him.
Bush is really in a no-win situation. Perhaps he should change his last name. No matter what he does, he's either compared to another former San Diego area high school star or he's compared to a certain two-term President with record low approval ratings.
Maybe Matt Bush should become a motivational speaker and change his name to Matt Foley. We can't think of any negative connotations with that name.

Super Sunday

The Chargers beat the defending Super Bowl champion Steelers 23-13 Sunday night, but we're not quite sure what to make of it.
Really, who doesn't beat the Steelers these days?
Pittsburgh (1-3) is struggling to stay ahead of the cellar-dwelling Cleveland Browns (1-4) in the AFC North.
But the Chargers (3-1) did look impressive. After the Martyball fiasco in Baltimore, the Bolts let Philip Rivers show what he could do and the young quarterback took advantage of a Steelers defense that couldn't get off the field in the second half, thanks to an ineffective Pittsburgh offense.
Rivers, who as a youngster played excitable neighbor "Ricky" on "My Three Sons," completed 24 of 37 passes for 242 yards and two touchdowns with one interception.
But the really big development in the game was the appearance of the San Diego Chicken at Qualcomm Stadium. NBC showed the Chicken parading around with a sign that read, "Chicken Seeking Date with Peacock" (Get it? Peacock ... NBC).
Now that's some gold-medal comedy there.
There was a time when we might have gotten a chuckle out of that. We're trying to remember what year we were in preschool.
But the night didn't belong only to the Chargers and a 58-year-old man dressed in tights.
Remember the Padres? They played Sunday night, too.
We'd like to thank the Padres for winning Saturday and postponing their inevitable elimination for one day, making Sunday a giant headache for fans trying to follow both games. The Padres' victory Saturday turned Qualcomm Stadium on Sunday into a sea of Terrible Towels and allowed many Chargers season-ticket holders to cash in when they sold their their tickets to Steeler fans. Nice going, Padres.
While Chargers season-ticket holders made deposits into their bank accounts, San Diego's reputation as a sports city took another punch to the gut.
"It's almost as if we're in Pittsburgh," said NBC's Al Michaels, who estimated there were 25,000 Steeler fans at the Q.
It would have been interesting to see what the Chargers crowd would've been like if there had been no Padres game.
All you need to know about the Padres playoff game against St. Louis on Sunday is that San Diego ended the series batting 2-for-32 (.063) with runners in scoring position. If we would've watched enough of the game, this would be the point where we'd quote something really annoying that Tim McCarver said during the Fox telecast.
The worst part about the Padres' season ending is that we're really disappointed we can't watch the alleged ace of the staff Jake Peavy pitch one more time.
Jake the Fake did make some progress in the playoffs, though. Yeah, he lost. Yeah, he gave up a huge home run to Albert Pujols. But Peavy's postseason record this year was actually better than his regular-season record.
While Jake the Fake was three games under .500 (11-14) in the regular season, his playoff record this year was only one game under .500 (0-1).
Nice going, Jake.

Powder Blues = Chargers Lose

The Chargers will bring out their powder blue uniforms for Sunday night's game against the Steelers, and that means only one thing: They clearly have no interest in winning the game.
Seems like whenever the Bolts wear the powder blues, they lose. Including last year's loss to Pittsburgh.
Perhaps the players get so preoccupied with how pretty they look, they don't want to get their shiny, neat uniforms dirty.
And we know we're in the minority here, but we've never quite understood what the fascination is with the powder blue uniforms. We don't get why so many people seem to have a homoerotic love affair with the powder blues. Yeah, they look OK, but do we need to have a Viagra moment over the mere mention of a uniform?
The Chargers have a 3-5 record while wearing the powder blues since 1994, so maybe it's time to retire the uniform forever. Just consider it a relic of the past that has no practical use today.

We Don't Believe What We Just Saw

The unthinkable happened Saturday.
And no, Jessica Simpson didn't receive an Oscar nomination.
Somehow, the Padres remembered that it is actually legal to win a game in October.
After nine consecutive postseason losses, dating back to 1998, San Diego defeated St. Louis 3-1 in Game 3 of the NLDS to stay alive for another day.
Chris Young, doing what neither the alleged ace of the staff Jake Peavy nor David Wells could do, earned the victory with a dominating 6 2/3 innings of shutout ball. Young struck out nine and allowed only four hits, and with his unusual facial expressions while delivering pitches, kind of looks like your wacky Uncle Irving.
Woody Williams will pitch Sunday's Game 4, and Padres fans never know which Woody Williams will show up. He could pitch a gem, or it could be a night of BP for the St. Louis hitters. Who knows?
Manager Bruce Bochy is saving Jake the Fake for a possible Game 5 in San Diego. And if the alleged ace of the staff was amped up for Game 1, it would be interesting to see how Jake the Fake would handle pitching for all the NLDS marbles in Game 5.
You've really got to wonder about Peavy's psyche when a mild-mannered guy like Orel Hershiser is throwing around words like "meltdown" to describe your demeanor.
Speaking of interesting, the Padres' win Saturday sets up an interesting day Sunday for San Diego sports fans. And by interesting, we mean problematic.
The Padres-Cardinals game will be going on at the same time as the Chargers-Steelers game at Qualcomm Stadium on "Sunday Night Football."
So, you know that large contingent of Steeler fans that you already knew were going to be at the Q? Well, it just got bigger. Now that there's a Padres playoff game Sunday, a lot more Charger fans just decided to stay home to watch the Padres and unload their tickets to Steeler fans.
But things won't be easy for those who stay home either. The buttons on your remote control will be getting more of a workout than when you're watching an adult video. Not that we'd know what that's like.
We might just decide to focus on the Chargers game. Look at the Padres game this way: Game 4 is just a stepping stone to Game 5.
And like most San Diegans, we really don't have the attention span to focus on two things at once. Just thinking about using the picture-in-picture feature on our TV gives us a headache.

Playoff Tidbits

Since the Padres' season could be over in less than 24 hours, we better get these thoughts out of the way now:

• We're sure Duke Castiglione is a fine reporter and there must be some people out there who like to look at him, but come on, he's no Erin Andrews or Bonnie Bernstein. Since ESPN refused to send Andrews to San Diego, we'll provide a public service and bring her to you here.
• Since ESPN is so in love with itself, surely it must have been just a mere coincidence that Chris "Boomer" Berman was sent to San Diego so he could call a game involving David "Boomer" Wells.
• Just before the start of Thursday's Game 2, as the Tigers-Yankees game was ending, ESPN cut away for a few seconds to show Wells in the bullpen at Petco Park. This was at 12:56 p.m. Four minutes later, when the Padres broadcast began, Wells looked like he had already gained a few pounds.
• Showing the same type of control he displays at the buffet line, Wells hit the first batter of the game, David Eckstein.
• In the second inning, the Padres actually did something good for the only time in the series. St. Louis' Juan Encarnacion, running like Jeff Kent, gets thrown out at the plate by left fielder Dave Roberts.
  
• That botched rundown in the fourth inning that allowed Albert Pujols to sneak in at second was the kind of thing you expect to see in the first week of the season, not in the playoffs. Maybe when these guys report to Peoria in February, they might have to lay off the Krispy Kremes for a while and actually work on some baseball drills.
• Berman and Hershiser kept saying "yesterday" when referring to Game 1 of the series, which was played on Tuesday. An announcer who doesn't know what day it is is kind of like a cab driver who doesn't know what street he's on.
• Does Hershiser read Minor-League Town? He talked about Peavy's mentality on the mound and how Jake the Fake lost his composure and had a "meltdown" after Pujols' homer in Game 1.
• Castiglione told viewers that Adrian Gonzalez informed him before the game that the Padres were loose and relaxed. That's good to know. Because we all know that if the Padres were not loose and relaxed, the first thing Gonzalez would do is admit it to the Duke of Bristol.
• Since the Padres were so loose and relaxed for Games 1 and 2, maybe it's not a bad idea to come out tense and nervous for Game 3.

The Minor-League Town Poll

What would be more embarrassing?
	The Padres getting swept by the Cardinals in the NLDS
	The Chargers blowing another late lead in their only Sunday Night Football gig of the season
	The Aztecs falling to 0-5 with a loss to BYU
	Who are these Aztecs of which you speak?
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Fear Factor

Picture yourself in a pregame meeting in which Cardinals pitcher Jeff Weaver and catcher Yadier Molina are going over the Padres' lineup with pitching coach Dave Duncan. In doing so, they must determine which Padres hitter are you not going to let beat you in a key situation. In other words, who among the Padres' batters is going to put fear into Cardinals pitchers?
Weaver, Molina and Duncan must have been giggling like 13-year-old girls at a slumber party.
Seriously, if you're an opposing pitcher, who do you fear in that Padres lineup?
Adrian Gonzalez is the team's best pure hitter and has improved his power this season, but he doesn't scare anybody. He's no Barry Bonds or Albert Pujols. Mike Cameron? Sorry, too easy to strike out. Brian Giles is a singles hitter who's paid as if he produces power, but he doesn't scare anybody. Mike Piazza was a feared hitter in the prime of his career, but those days are gone. Todd Walker? Yeah, sure.
Probably the only hitter on the Padres' roster who could put any fear into pitchers is a guy who doesn't even start. A guy who had all of four at-bats this year after spending nearly the entire season on the disabled list. Ryan Klesko might be the one Padre who could put a little fear into an opposing pitching staff -- and that alone tells you all you need to know about how pathetic the Padres' offense is.
A man who hit .750 (3-for-4) with no homers and appeared in six games this season is the only guy on the team who could possibly put a little fear into opponents.
When this playoff series started, we heard and read a lot about how the Padres are a team built around pitching and defense and many baseball experts predicted that combination could carry the team deep into October. But all that talk about pitching and defense ignored the team's glaring weakness all season -- hitting.
David Wells certainly pitched well enough in Thursday's 2-0 loss to St. Louis in Game 2 of the NLDS, but he can't get a "W" if his teammates can't hit. We have to hand it to old tubby; he did his part. We won't even point out that the Padres' blue jerseys make Wells' sizable gut look even more immense.
With the Padres one loss away from elimination, we won't say they're done. But the skillet is simmering.
But, what the hell, we're going to start talking 2007.
When general manager Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," starts assembling the '07 Padres, it might be a good idea to acquire at least one legitimate power hitter to stick in the middle of that lineup.
And by legitimate power hitter, we don't mean guys like Russell Branyan and Todd Walker.

Fatman to the Rescue?

In their biggest game of the season, the Padres will turn to the largest man they have.
Supersize southpaw David Wells will take his flabby left arm to the mound Thursday as the Padres try to even the series before the teams head to St. Louis for Game 3.
We're a little concerned that the 1 p.m. start time might interfere with the 6-foot-3, 726-pounder's lunch hour, but we're not that worried.
We keep hearing and reading how great Wells is when it matters most. He must be. He did win one game in September.
After all we've heard and read, with all the raving about old tubby's success in late-season games and postseason games, we're starting to think that David Wells must be the only man alive who's ever won a playoff game.
Tony La Russa and the Cardinals, no doubt, are so scared of facing Wells, they must be having a team meeting right now to discuss forfeiting Game 2.
After going with Jake and the Fatman in Games 1 and 2, the Padres will turn to Chris Young in Game 3 on Saturday.
And when the series heads to St. Louis, who knows what can happen? If Wells can somehow fit between the Gateway Arch when he arrives in town, maybe it might be good for the Padres to get away from home cooking. We know that a Midwest town like St. Louis specializes in restaurants with health-conscious food served in sensible portions, so it's reasonable to assume that Wells might drop a pound or two in Missouri, right?

BREAKING NEWS: We don't know what we did to deserve it, but Minor-League Town has been selected as the Featured Site of the Month by The Hater Nation. Thanks to THN, and be sure to check out the final installment of THN's Super Bowl Buzz Kill, and some encouraging celebrity news for single guys everywhere.

But the Weather Was Nice

The Padres were hoping to make a splash on the national stage Tuesday.
Game 1 of their National League Division Series against the St. Louis Cardinals marked a rare opportunity for San Diego to play in front of a national television audience. Since the Padres play most of their games at 10 p.m. Eastern time, this was the first chance for many baseball fans across the country to really get a good look at the Padres.
And you always want to make a good first impression.
Well ... like a job applicant with a giant zit on his forehead, the Padres made a helluva first impression.
Put it this way: If this were college football and the team had a bunch of potential recruits in town for a visit, well, you'd have nothing to talk about right now but the weather.
The Padres could do nothing right in losing 5-1 to the Cardinals, and to put the loss in context a little more, it was the franchise's eighth consecutive defeat in posteason play, dating back to the 1998 World Series. Stuff like that has to start creeping into the heads of the players.
And speaking of head cases, how about Jake Peavy's sparkling performance?
What can we say of Jake the Fake? Well, let's let ESPN's fine duo of Chris Berman and Orel Hershiser take over. Early in the broadcast, Berman and Hershiser told viewers to disregard Peavy's 11-14 record, and they reminded us that Peavy is the ace of the Padres' staff.
Well, thanks for the advice, guys, but we'll take that 11-14 record into account all we want. And, really, the alleged ace of the staff pitched exactly like you'd expect a guy with an 11-14 record to pitch -- like crap.
And Peavy couldn't even benefit from some very generous calls from plate umpire Gerry Davis, who seemed to be giving Jake the Fake every pitch within two feet of the plate.
The ESPN guys also talked about how amped up Peavy was for the game. We know Peavy is an intense guy, but sometimes his demeanor can be downright odd. When Peavy's on the mound, the guy talks to himself more than Dustin Hoffman in "Rain Man."
But we can't just single out Jake the Fake. The Padres' offense got completely shut down -- again -- like so many other Padres performances all season. The stat of the day: Padres batters not named Dave Roberts went 3-for-27 Tuesday.
And has a playoff team ever had a more nondescript left side of the infield than Russell Branyan and Geoff Blum?
All in all, it was a thoroughly forgettable game.
But look on the bright side, Padres fans. At least the bullpen didn't give up four consecutive home runs.

The Bandwagon Express

Our favorite aspect of the Padres being in the playoffs is seeing all the "diehard Padre fans" popping up around town.
You know the type. They're wearing their shiny new Padres T-shirt they just purchased at Wal-Mart; they'll tell you what huge fans they are, and yet they didn't attend a single game all year. They probably didn't even bother to watch more than five games on TV all season.
But they're with you all the way now, Padres.
You want to have some fun with these trendy fans? Just press them to provide a little insight on the team.
Many of them wouldn't know Khalil Greene from Lorne Greene.
Sure, there's nothing really wrong with these fans and the team welcomes any fans it can get. But you know, somebody should let these people know that there is some baseball played before October.

Martyball in Postseason Form

The Chargers must have been disoriented from the bye week. Coming off the two-week layoff, they must have been confused and misread the calendar and thought the playoffs started today.
That sure looked like a playoff performance from a Marty Schottenheimer team. In other words, a loss.
After dominating most of the game, and outnumbering the Ravens in just about every statistical category, the Chargers still found a way to trudge back to the locker room with a 16-13 loss Sunday.
The Ravens never led until the game-winning touchdown with 34 seconds left.
Philip Rivers and the offense started out looking explosive in marching down the field for an early 31-yard touchdown pass to Malcom Floyd. But after that, the offense never smelled the end zone again.
The Bolts were clinging to a 13-7 lead late in the fourth quarter and it actually seemed somewhat comfortable, considering the ineptness of the Baltimore offense. Then things got a little nutty. Pinned close to his own end zone, Bolts punter Mike Scifres got hammered after a fumbled snap, then the Bolts were forced to repunt because of a San Diego penalty. With Scifres hobbling in obvious pain, Schottenheimer chose to have his punter run out of the end zone for a safety rather than try a punt from that precarious spot.
So the safety made it 13-9 Bolts and suddenly the Ravens and their fans were feeling some confidence and momentum.
When the Ravens got the ball for their final possession in the closing minutes, quarterback Steve McNair calmly led his team right into the end zone, with little resistance from the Chargers' suddenly clueless defense. Tight end Todd Heap's 10-yard touchdown reception capped a six-play, 60-yard drive.
The Bolts' defense, which had stopped the Ravens all day, suddenly looked confused on the final drive and they picked a fine time to forget how to tackle.
"It came down to a missed tackle. I really tried to take his head off," linebacker Shawne Merriman said of Heap's TD.
Nice. Next time try attempting to tackle the guy rather than attempting to decapitate the guy.
Ravens fans must be wondering what they did to deserve this gift. They watched their team turn the ball over three times, as their offense generally looked awful for just about the entire day, yet they're now owners of a 4-0 record. Thanks to the Bolts.
This game smelled like so many Marty Schottenheimer playoff games, so at least the Bolts were thoughtful enough to prepare their fans for what's coming in a few months. Is there any doubt this team will provide another performance like this in January?
Oh, and Philip Rivers, nice touch, spiking the ball in disgust after getting sacked on the final play of the game. Your offensive linemen really like being shown up like that. Did you learn that move from Doug Flutie?