Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Fatman to the Rescue?

In their biggest game of the season, the Padres will turn to the largest man they have.
Supersize southpaw David Wells will take his flabby left arm to the mound Thursday as the Padres try to even the series before the teams head to St. Louis for Game 3.
We're a little concerned that the 1 p.m. start time might interfere with the 6-foot-3, 726-pounder's lunch hour, but we're not that worried.
We keep hearing and reading how great Wells is when it matters most. He must be. He did win one game in September.
After all we've heard and read, with all the raving about old tubby's success in late-season games and postseason games, we're starting to think that David Wells must be the only man alive who's ever won a playoff game.
Tony La Russa and the Cardinals, no doubt, are so scared of facing Wells, they must be having a team meeting right now to discuss forfeiting Game 2.
After going with Jake and the Fatman in Games 1 and 2, the Padres will turn to Chris Young in Game 3 on Saturday.
And when the series heads to St. Louis, who knows what can happen? If Wells can somehow fit between the Gateway Arch when he arrives in town, maybe it might be good for the Padres to get away from home cooking. We know that a Midwest town like St. Louis specializes in restaurants with health-conscious food served in sensible portions, so it's reasonable to assume that Wells might drop a pound or two in Missouri, right?

BREAKING NEWS: We don't know what we did to deserve it, but Minor-League Town has been selected as the Featured Site of the Month by The Hater Nation. Thanks to THN, and be sure to check out the final installment of THN's Super Bowl Buzz Kill, and some encouraging celebrity news for single guys everywhere.

1 Comments:

Blogger THN said...

Thanks for the plug. We even have the "real" version of the SBBK finale.

8:03 AM  

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