Shawne Merriman*

The big story today -- other than Madonna appearing on "Oprah" -- is that Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman will be suspended four games by the NFL for allegedly testing positive for steroids.
What this means for Merriman is that everything he has done and everything he will do in the future will be viewed with suspicion. Should that Defensive Rookie of the Year Award he received last season come with an asterisk? Should we now call him Pro Bowl linebacker* Shawne Merriman?
We'll let the geniuses who do talk radio handle that debate.
But what has us baffled is Merriman's production while allegedly on the juice.
If you're taking steroids, how do you manage not one tackle against Tennessee and only two tackles against Baltimore and Pittsburgh?
Clearly, the dude wasn't getting his money's worth on that batch of steroids. Where was the guy buying his steroids, Wal-Mart?
Just like anything else in life, you get what you pay for. Next time, pay for only the best steroids money can buy.