Jake and the Fat Man Revisited

We're faced with a bit of a dilemma here at Minor-League Town. Mrs. MLT has asked us to be nicer to Jake Peavy and David Wells this season.
It seems that Jake the Fake is MLT Jr.'s favorite Padre, and the Fat Man is Mrs. MLT's favorite Padre. And what does that say about her taste in men?
Mrs. MLT also pointed out that the Fat Man now has diabetes, saying he should be off limits.
Those of you who have been reading Minor-League Town since the beginning -- all six of you -- know that we've had a lot of fun at the expense of Jake and the Fat Man. There was this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one, this one and this one, oh, and don't forget this one.
Dilemma, schmilemma ... we'll uproot the family and move to Phoenix before we'll give up our Jake and the Fat Man fun.