Doug Eddings, Comic Thief

This just in ... umpire Doug Eddings is stealing our act.
As you know, making fun of David Wells' immense girth is one of our favorite pastimes here at MLT, and apparently, Eddings is a devoted reader.
During the Padres' 5-2, 12-inning loss to the Diamondbacks on Wednesday night, Eddings morphed from bad ump into hack comic.
According to Wells, Eddings gestured in the direction of the Fat Man in the dugout by rubbing his belly, as if to say, "You're fat."
And since Paul McAnulty was no longer in the dugout, we can presume Eddings wasn't directing his mime comedy routine toward the hefty youngster.
For what it's worth, Eddings denies making any such gesture, but regardless, the incident made our day.
And for those of you scoring at home ... since Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," acquired the Fat Man last Aug. 31 in a trade with the Red Sox for highly touted catcher George Kottaras, old tubby still has exactly one win.
Another brilliant move, KT.

Mr. September

When the Padres acquired super-size lefty David Wells from the Red Sox in exchange for promising minor-league catcher George Kottaras, the conventional wisdom was that the Padres had pretty much punched their postseason ticket.
Wells is Mr. September, you know. At least that what the media kept reminding us.
As for the departed Kottaras, no need to worry that he'll become a future All-Star or anything. We all know Kevin Towers never makes a bad trade.
Yet, even if Kottaras amounts to nothing, what exactly has San Diego received in exchange for the talented catcher, other than increased clubhouse catering expenses?
Since Wells arrived back in his hometown, the Point Loma High product is winless. That's right, Big D has as many wins this September as Don Drysdale.
The common theme that emerged around the time of the trade was that Wells would produce automatic wins every time he walked to the mound. Perhaps Wells, who's tipping the scales at a taco shy of 680 pounds, never got the memo. Or maybe he ate it.
Yo, Tubby, do you have even one win left in that flabby left arm of yours?