Rescuing Little Timmy

How would you like to be Tim Stauffer today?
All season, Padres starting pitchers have been starving for run support, so what happens Sunday? Stauffer's teammates handed him an early 12-zip lead in Houston, but he didn't get the win because he couldn't get out of the fourth inning.
Doug Brocail earned the victory as the Padres hung on for an 18-11 win.
Stauffer allowed seven runs (all earned) in 3 2/3 innings.
Let that sink in again if you need to: The guy had a 12-0 lead after two innings, and he failed to get the win.
Great game, Timmy.

Where Is Everybody?

If you plan to hold up a liquor store or something, today would be a good day to do so.
Like, say, between 10:30 and 11:30 a.m.
We imagine the cops might have a little difficulty finding witnesses.
Everybody in San Diego County will be watching or listening to the Hall of Fame Induction ceremony. We understand some guy named Tony Gwynn is involved this year.

The Fat Man Sitteth

Major League Baseball suspended David Wells and his flabby left arm seven games Thursday, in response to last weekend's tantrum and ejection involving Wells and plate umpire Ed Hickox.
The supersize southpaw is not pleased, either, calling Bob Watson a "hench man" and "yes man" for commissioner Bud Selig.
Padres fans also reacted with disillusionment, asking "Who's Bob Watson?"

Thugtown, USA -- A Never-Ending Series

If you picked Anthony Waters in our Minor-League Town Poll on NFL draft weekend, congratulations.

Padres Fans Gay?

For those of you who always thought Padres fans were kinda gay, turns out you were right.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

A Ticking Time Bomb

Milton Bradley makes his Padres debut today, which means: We can't wait to see what happens the first time an umpire rings him up on a questionable called third strike in a late-inning situation; or what happens the first time someone like, say, Jake Peavy or David Wells or Michael Barrett, questions Bradley's attitude or work ethic.
Should be a fun fireworks display.
When the Padres acquired the volatile Bradley, general manager Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," acknowledged that Bradley has "somewhat of a checkered past."
That's a nice way of saying the guy is a thug.
Let's see, Bradley's "checkered past" includes slapping around his wife, screaming at police, throwing bottles at fans (pictured above), explosive tirades with umpires, getting into spats with teammates ... are we forgetting anything? Uh, yeah, actually we did forget a few. Here are a few more.
Oh yeah, checkered past alright. The guy is a regular Mr. Checkers.
There are guys currently behind bars who don't have as checkered a past as Milton Bradley.
Whether or not the Bradley acquisition makes the Padres a better team is questionable. But if nothing else, they're more likely to be the lead story on "SportsCenter."