WKRAP Is Cincinnati

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

-- Arthur Carlson, WKRP station manager

As God is our witness, we thought this game was over.
When the Bengals took a 21-point lead over the Chargers on Sunday, we pretty much gave up.
But then we remembered, these are the Bengals.
Good God, this might be the worst defense we've ever seen. Does anybody in Cincinnati know how to tackle? Do they understand that defensive backs are supposed to actually cover receivers? Do the Cincinnati defensive players work on anything in practice during the week?
Apparently not.
Tackling like a vegetarian would tackle a T-bone steak, the Bengals stood around and watched as the Chargers matched the largest comeback in franchise history to pull out a 49-41 victory in Cincinnati.
Note the excellent tackling in the photo above. LaDainian Tomlinson gladly accepted the early Christmas gift by tying his career high with four touchdowns.
We'd like to heap all kinds of praise on the Chargers' offense, but is it really that impressive to score 49 points against such an incompetent defensive unit? To be honest, the Chargers' offense should've scored 79 points on this defense. So, to heap praise on the Chargers' offense for this would be like heaping praise on a politician who wins an election while running unopposed.
How pathetic was the Bengals defense? The Chargers (7-2), who trailed 28-7 at halftime, scored touchdowns on seven of their last eight possessions (excluding a couple of run-out-the-clock moments) and the Bolts racked up 42 points in the second half.
In other words, the Bengals defense was only slightly more effective than it would've been with 11 dead men on the field.
The main beneficiary of the Bengals' indifference on defense was Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers, who engineered the comeback by completing 24-of-36 passes for 337 yards and three touchdowns.
Rivers, who as a youngster played excitable neighbor "Ricky" on "My Three Sons," told reporters after the game: "We didn't panic. We didn't point fingers like some teams around the league do."
Wonder who he was talking about there.
Cincinnati's Chad Johnson set a club record with 260 yards receiving while scoring two touchdowns, and Carson Palmer threw for more than 400 yards for the first time in his career, but thanks to the Bengals' outstanding defense, it meant nothing.
The Bengals lost for the fifth time in their past six games. All you need to know about how bad things are in Cincinnati is this: The Bengals (4-5) now have the same record as the San Francisco 49ers.
But in San Diego, Charger fans are as giddy as a college coed who gets to be a contestant on "Deal or No Deal."
We just realized we've taken the Lord's name in vain a few too many times here in this report. And for that, J.D. Drew no doubt thinks we're going to hell.