"Not on the Same Page"

There's been a lot of talk recently about whether some members of the Padres organization are "not on the same page" with club CEO Sandy Alderson.

And at least two of those "not on the same page" with Alderson's organizational philosophy became apparent with the departures of bench coach Craig Colbert and hitting coach Wally Joyner.

That got us thinking.

"Not on the same page" seems to be one of those sports cliches that's becoming increasingly more common every day. Hardly a day goes by in which somebody on ESPN doesn't utter the phrase.

We started wondering how this cliche began. Who started it? What were the circumstances?

Well, after weeks of diligent investigative reporting, we can now reveal the origin of "not on the same page."

We tracked down a retired sportswriter by the name of I.M. Bitereaux, who says he coined the phrase while covering a junior college football game in Shreveport, La., in the late 1970s.

"After watching several botched plays, in which the quarterback threw to a receiver who had cut in the opposite direction, I wrote that it looked like they were 'not on the same page,' " Bitereaux said. "I wish I had known then that everybody would be using it now. I would've copyrighted the darn thing, or something."

But sadly, Bitereaux's tale took a turn for the surreal.

When Bitereaux filed his story on that night in the '70s, dictating to his editor over the phone, as was common practice in those days, he and his editor somehow got their signals crossed, and Bitereaux's new phrase didn't see the light of day.

Apparently, Bitereaux and his editor were, uh, "not on the same page."

Chargers-Raiders Factoid o' the Day

When the Raiders last beat the Chargers, Lindsay Lohan was a 17-year-old who had yet to discover chicks.

Padres Clinch!

If you've been following the daily drama on our Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence -- and who hasn't? -- you know that the Padres have been on pace for a 100-loss season.

Well, not anymore.

With Saturday's 3-2 win over Pittsburgh, the Padres made their fans proud as they clinched a non-100-loss season.

They cut it close, taking it down to the next-to-last game of the season, but none of that matters now. All that's important is that they've clinched.

So instead of 100 losses, the Padres will finish with either 98 or 99 defeats (pending Sunday's season finale). And for that, everyone in the organization can hold their heads high -- from the top, club CEO Sandy Alderson and general manager Kevin Towers -- who answers to the colorful nickname "KT" -- all the way down to the bat boys, it was a job well done.

And for clinching in dramatic fashion on the final weekend of the season, we'd like to extend an official Minor-League Town congratulations to everyone in the Padres organization.

Great job, guys!

The USD Report

The University of San Diego defeated Drake 43-17 in college football action Saturday.

And that's all for this edition of The USD Report.

Join us again next time for The USD Report.

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

2

Games remaining:

2

(Oh, the drama!)

The High School Football Report

Week 4 of the high school football season featured dozens of games throughout San Diego County.

And that's all for this edition of The High School Football Report.

We hope you enjoyed The High School Football Report.

Join us again next week for The High School Football Report.

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

3

Games remaining:

3

(It can still happen!)

The Minor-League Town Quote o' the Day

"I think we all should be held accountable. How much you put that on the players, how much you put that on the hitting coach, how much you put that on the general manager, we've all had our struggles."

-- Padres GM Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT"

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

3

Games remaining:

4

Trouble in Paradise?

Nice little soap opera going on with the Padres as they stumble and bumble their way to the finish line, with 100 losses still well within reach.

Hitting coach Wally Joyner turned in his resignation Monday, saying that others within the organization were interfering with his ability to do his job. Joyner had intended to make his resignation effective at the end of the season, but club management told Joyner not to bother to show up in Los Angeles, where the last-place Padres opened a three-game series Tuesday.

Wow.

And while all this is going on, general manager Kevin Towers, who answers to the colorful nickname "KT," has been conveniently unavailable for comment.

Nice.

Disharmony within this team is just difficult for us to fathom, because whenever we watch a Padres telecast on Channel 4, we're left with the impression that the Padres organization is the Good Ship Lollipop.

So it's not?

Next thing you know, somebody's going to tell us that Fox News Channel isn't really a news channel.

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

4

Games remaining:

5

Chargers ... Mental Patients? Favre From It

"I'm concerned about Norv Turner and the mental toughness of San Diego."

-- Cris Carter, on ESPN's pregame show, "Monday Night Countdown"

Well, it's no longer necessary to hide all sharp instruments. The Chargers' mental health appears just fine now, after a 48-29 thrashing of the New York Jets on "Monday Night Football."

Faced with the prospect of starting the season 0-3, the Chargers were in a precarious position -- until the Jets landed in town. The hapless Jets proved to be the perfect remedy for what ailed the Bolts' psyche.

Jets quarterback Brett Favre, who's just a few weeks shy of his 39th birthday, looked like John McCain's older brother on this night. Favre was intercepted twice, and a couple of other passes that should have been sure interceptions were dropped by Charger defenders. 

But don't feel bad for Favre. The season is still young. If Favre has some better games down the road, perhaps the guy might finally get some media attention.

Backup Jets quarterback Kellen Clemens, mopping up in garbage time, also did his part to nurse back to health the self-esteem of the Chargers. Clemens lobbed an interception to Antonio Cromartie in the end zone in the game's final minute to put an exclamation point on this Chargers version of "Awakenings."

The tendency might be to say that the Jets looked like a poorly coached team. But that might not be totally accurate. We couldn't find any evidence that there was any coaching going on with the Jets. Every shot of coach Eric Mangini on the Jets sideline showed a guy with no emotion, providing no direction or leadership. The stoic, detached look might work if you're Bill Belichick and you have a roster full of veterans who know what to do. But when you're Eric Mangini and you have a roster with somewhat less talent, it might be worth a try to inspire the troops a little.

But they don't call him "Mangenius" for nothing. Mangenius actually pulled off the impossible, making Norv Turner look more animated.

If there was one area of concern for the Chargers in this one, it was their kick coverage unit. The Jets totaled 291 yards on kick returns. Definitely something to keep an eye on in the coming weeks for the Bolts.

But otherwise, it was a night of feel-good vibes all around for the Chargers, as they re-established themselves as Super Bowl contenders in the suddenly sucky AFC.

Considering the fragile emotional state this team was in, we wonder what the pregame mood was like in the Bolts' locker room. Somehow, we picture Philip Rivers doing his best Jack Nicholson: "Which one of you nuts has got any guts?"

The USD Report

The University of San Diego defeated Campbell 43-7 in college football action Saturday.

And that's all for this edition of The USD Report.

Join us again next time for The USD Report.

The High School Football Report

Week 3 of the high school football season featured dozens of games throughout San Diego County.

And that's all for this edition of The High School Football Report.

We hope you enjoyed The High School Football Report.

Join us again next week for The High School Football Report.

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

5

Games remaining:

9

The Minor-League Town Quote o' the Day

"I believe there's been progress. We just haven't seen it in the win column yet."

-- Chuck Long, SDSU football coach

Countdown to Triple-Digit Incompetence

Number of losses needed by the Padres to reach 100:

6

Games remaining:

10

The Minor-League Town Quote o' the Day

"Just think how bad we'd be without him."

-- Padres pitcher Shawn Estes, referring to Adrian Gonzalez, who has 34 home runs and 111 RBIs

A Grade Point Average of 0.0

In the aftermath of the controversial ending to Sunday's Chargers-Broncos game, the NFL announced Monday that referee Ed Hochuli will be "marked down."

Which is the NFL's way of saying Hochuli is on double secret probation.

League spokesman Greg Aiello went on to say: "Officials are held accountable for their calls. They are graded on every play of every game. ... Under our evaluation system, an official's grades impact his status for potentially working the playoffs and ultimately whether or not he is retained."

And the only appropriate response to that is: "TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!"

The Merriman-less Chargers Stats o' the Day

Receptions by Denver's Brandon Marshall:

18

(only 2 shy of the NFL record)

First downs by the Broncos:

34

(only 5 shy of the NFL record)

NEWS ALERT: Sources told Minor-League Town there was a controversial call by the officials at the end of Sunday's Chargers-Broncos game. Apparently, the disputed call cost the Chargers the game. Wow, that's never happened before in the history of sports.

Pull the Plug

San Jose State 35, San Diego State 10 -- Seriously, what's the point?

Area Residents Urged to Exercise Extreme Caution

San Diego County health officials may soon issue a medical alert for a condition that seems to be occurring with an increasingly alarming frequency.

It's not yet as widespread as the West Nile Virus or the Avian Bird Flu, but this latest ailment is gaining momentum and is notorious for its ability to afflict some of San Diego's most prominent citizens.

As health officials continue to gather information and statistics, this much seems to be clear: There is a growing epidemic of serious toe injuries among San Diego's elite athletes.

The latest victim is Chargers star running back LaDainian Tomlinson [whose toe is pictured at right]. LT missed two days of practice this week and is listed as questionable for Sunday's game at Denver.

And LT's teammate, tight end Antonio Gates, still hasn't fully recovered from a toe injury suffered in the playoffs last season.

But bad toes aren't limited to just football players. Less than two years ago, former Padres pitcher David Wells was sidelined because of a swollen big toe from a case of gout. 

So what does all this toe jam mean for local residents? Well, those who are especially susceptible to toe injuries -- such as small children and the elderly -- should be very careful, particularly if they choose to wear sandals, flip-flops or any other open-toe footwear.

There's that, and of course, we were just dying to get in another David Wells reference. It's been too long since we mentioned old tubby, with his flabby left arm and swollen big toe.

The High School Football Report

Week 2 of the high school football season featured dozens of games throughout San Diego County.

And that's all for this edition of The High School Football Report.

We hope you enjoyed The High School Football Report.

Join us again next week for The High School Football Report.

The Minor-League Town Poll

I will not attend another Padre game until:
	The organization demonstrates a commitment to winning
	The team isn't so bleeping boring to watch
	John Moores sells the team
	Gas prices go down
	Beer prices go down
	El Cajon freezes over
	GM Kevin Towers gets a more colorful nickname than "KT"
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The Minor-League Town Quote o' the Day

"It really stinks that we're mathematically eliminated."

-- Padres reliever Heath Bell, who apparently was still clinging to playoff hopes

Swagger? We Don't Even Know Her

Those of you who had "1" in your How Many Games Shawne Merriman Will Last on Two Torn Knee Ligaments pool, you can now collect your winnings.

So what does this mean for the Chargers? Well, they can still win, especially since they reside in the horrifically bad AFC West. 

And the Bolts still have some very good linebackers not named Merriman. It's probably the deepest position on their roster, except for this group.

But where the Chargers will miss Merriman the most is in the emotion department. Words that come to mind here are leadership, confidence and swagger.

A team's collective confidence is a fragile thing, even at the professional level.

Look at the teams who are successful each year and you'll see clubs who are overflowing with swagger. It's usually the difference between who wins and who loses in the postseason.

So now, Shawne Merriman has left the building -- and the Chargers' swagger goes out the door with him.

What figured to be an interesting Charger season just became even more compelling.

Spreading Holiday Cheer

Ah, the memories of Christmas past. That thought conjures up images of precious time with family sitting around the fireplace with eggnog and cookies.

Or, if you're like us, it brings to mind Philip Rivers acting like a 12-year-old twit on national television.

It was last Christmas Eve, when the excitable Chargers quarterback made a fool out of himself by yelling in the direction of Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler as the Bolts were beating Denver on "Monday Night Football."

Ah, it warms our heart just thinking about that special holiday memory.

But Rivers says he's done talking about the incident.

"I'm just not gonna do it," said Opie, sounding like a little tyke refusing to clean his room.

And as the Chargers and Broncos prepare to meet again this Sunday in Denver, is there any doubt Cutler's defensive teammates will have a warm reception for Opie?

Yeah, this Sunday in Denver, they'll be getting ready to dig into the Chargers' very own Christmas fruit cake.

The Games Will Go On

We try to focus only on San Diego stories here at Minor-League Town, but some things are just too big to ignore.

It looks like Tom Brady is reportedly out for the year with a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee.

And as it has in past times of national crisis, the National Football League is faced with a very difficult decision. League officials have been in bunker mode throughout the night Sunday, trying to decide whether next week's games should go on as scheduled.

And after several hours of intense discussion, this just in to the MLT newsroom ... The NFL has decided that next week's games will be played, despite the national trauma resulting from Tom Brady's injury.

"Because that's what Tom would have wanted," said a league official.

And the Norv Watch Has Officially Begun

Norv Turner, meet the hot seat ... hot seat, Norv Turner.

In a weird game that the Chargers had no business winning -- they were trailing by nine points in the fourth quarter -- they managed to find themselves just 2 seconds away from a victory over the Carolina Panthers.

But Jake Delhomme's 14-yard touchdown pass to Dante Rosario on the final play of the game gave Carolina a 26-24 win Sunday, leaving the season-opening crowd at Qualcomm Stadium stunned. 

The expression on Norv's face as he squinted into the sun to try to see the result of the final play was priceless. Thanks to the isolation camera that Fox-TV used on that play, we got to see Norv's expression go from confused to hopeful to disgusted, all in a matter of seconds. And the final look that Norv exhibited as he started to walk across the field was one of perplexed resignation. It was a look that said, 'Hmm, where did I park my car? I could go for a nice turkey sandwich right about now.'

Carolina marched 68 yards on 11 plays over the final 2:27. And if that's not enough to disgust Charger fans, this little nugget might send them over the edge: The Panthers' winning score was their only offensive touchdown of the game.

Maybe it's time to revisit this remedy for what ails the Chargers.

Other notes from a busy Sunday of sports

• Nice timing by the Padres. Chris Young had a perfect game through 7 2/3 innings Sunday, but because it was Week 1 of the NFL season, nobody was paying attention to what was eventually a 10-1 Padres win at Milwaukee. Typical Padres, they can't do anything right. If you're going to flirt with a perfect game, perhaps it would be a good idea to do so on a day when people might actually be watching. If this game would've occurred on any other day, it might have helped sell some tickets on the Padres' upcoming homestand. It's difficult enough to hold the attention span of the typical Padre fan, but trying to do so in competition with a Chargers game is just a futile exercise.
  
• Hey, we hear there's this new sports-themed restaurant, called "CBS Scene," at Gillette Stadium, home of the New England Patriots. It's too bad CBS couldn't find time to promote the thing a little more during Sunday's games. After about the 12th plug, in which CBS showed video of the sparkling new place and recited numerous details about it, we were wondering what's next -- a detailed listing of the total number of restroom urinals at CBS Scene?
  

The USD Report

The University of San Diego defeated Azusa Pacific 38-10 in college football action Saturday.

And that's all for this edition of The USD Report.

Join us again next time for The USD Report.

Cataclysmic Event Averted

When San Diego State was leading for much of the afternoon against Notre Dame on Saturday, we started to worry about this report of potential impending doom.

After all, a nationally significant San Diego State football win comes along about as often as ... well, the end of the world.

But the Aztecs suddenly remembered they don't win games like this, then collapsed in the fourth quarter and lost 21-13.

So the citizens of the world can remain calm. The Earth will continue to spin on its axis just fine.

The High School Football Report

Week 1 of the high school football season featured dozens of games throughout San Diego County.

And that's all for this edition of The High School Football Report.

Join us again next week for The High School Football Report.

Electricity in the Air

The Chargers open the season in a couple of days, and the buzz around town is palpable.

Yeah, so much so that the team needed the NFL to grant a 24-hour extension to sell the remaining tickets in order to lift the local TV blackout.

And you wonder why we call this place a MINOR-LEAGUE TOWN.

The Minor-League Town Quote o' the Day

"Absolutely, he's safe. It's not a question."

-- Jeff Schemmel, San Diego State athletic director, on the job security of football coach Chuck Long (7-18 in his third season)

Franchise Tag Removed

This just in off the sportswire ... dateline SAN DIEGO [cue cheesy canned sound effect] ... 

San Diego radio legend Lee "Hacksaw" Hamilton has parted ways with XTRA Sports 1360.

We're having trouble grasping this unsettling news, so you'll have to excuse us if we're a little disoriented. We've made our feelings known on "The Franchise," so this is a sad day in San Diego sports.

It was never easy to get 1360's weak radio signal, but when we did, it was always reassuring to stumble onto Hacksaw's booming voice mispronouncing a name or three.

In allowing The Franchise to walk away, what is station management thinking here? Did they not get the memo? He is bleeping brilliant.

The opening segment of Hamilton's show -- "Hacksaw's Headlines" -- was referred to by the host as "The best 15 minutes in radio." Listeners now will have to find a substitute somewhere. They won't find it here.

Hacksaw is known for numerous cliches, but it's the little moments we'll miss the most. We always got a kick out of his "Pick 'Em, Pal" routine on Fridays, when he would force callers to make predictions on weekend games they clearly had no interest in. If a caller phoned in to talk about the Padres bullpen, Hacksaw didn't care; he still demanded the guy give him the winner of the Akron-Kent State game. That awkward silence that ensued was just priceless, as the caller tried to think of something to say about a game he otherwise would have given no thought.

Some unanswered questions remain. Is this the end of the road for the 60-year-old Hacksaw? What happens to all those pre-taped, yet-to-be aired newsmaker hotline interviews that were no doubt already in the can before Wednesday's announcement? Will Hacksaw just save those for his potential next gig, and air those newsmaker hotline interviews in a year or so?

And if you happen to be hitting the garage sales around Rancho Bernardo, be on the lookout for some old furniture: One sturdy, well-built table. Old-fashioned craftsmanship. Capable of holding dozens of topics at one time. Make offer.

The Minor-League Town Poll

Watching a Padres game makes me feel:
	Sad
	Angry
	Disgusted
	Embarrassed
	Confused
	Nauseous
	Bored
	Envious that I don't have a cool nickname like "KT"
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